I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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