dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
