I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize