dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
