i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
