If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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