best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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