I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
