we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Did I show you my penis last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
