It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
