Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
