i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize