A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
