Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
