i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
