The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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