I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
