We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize