One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
