You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
