TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
