she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
