can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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