He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
