I'm drive I can fine osifer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
