So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
