At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
