It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize