OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
