I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize