My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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