Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You left your underwear on the fireplace
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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