i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
