I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
