she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
