yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
its not stalking. its research.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
