Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
