p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
