If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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