wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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