Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
