In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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