Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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