Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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