So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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