i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
