we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
