I love black thongs
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's never too late to be topless.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
