found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
