We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
