remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
