This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
