so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Boobs speak an international language.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
