How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
