We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
