Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
