I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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