Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize