Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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