she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
