My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
