i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so let's talk penis.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
