Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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