My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
