we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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