Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
