I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize