Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
