the new term for farting is butt boxing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
