Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize