i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
