So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
