all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
